i. and i’m soaring upwards. i can’t see the ground, i can’t see the sky, and i can’t see the future. but it’s okay. i’m okay. you’re okay. and everything’s bright and cheery and hopeful once again.
ii. the basement was cold, colder than i could’ve ever imagined, but that warm and fuzzy feeling was spreading through me, thawing my frozen heart, and shining through my eyes. and you became the reason to get up each morning, to get up so bright and so early each morning. i miss you.
iii. the final panic. flashbacks to the good ole days where i fought with every word in my drained body. but this time, it wasn’t a battle. it was an adventure, with you beside me, everything is an adventure.
iv. you light up my world like nobody else. we sang, we danced, we jumped. and in that moment, i knew that i wanted to live like i was dying.
v. one simple thursday, one simple friday, marked the beginning of a lifetime, the end of an era, and the beginning of the end. but child, i’ll always be there when you need me, whether as a photographer, a makeup artist, or just a friend.
vi. love comes so slow and goes so fast.
vii. and we sang together, our little quartet that soon grew in size. the music seeped into my soul and set my anxiety-caged heart free. koriandmaxkoriandmaxkoriandmax.
viii. you wrapped your jacket tenderly around my shoulders, poked my arm maybe not-so-gently, and stared into my soul. last year were those sweet potato fries. this year, well, this year was the beginning of a lifetime.
ix. hair dabbing. friend, you are my sunshine.
x. heart maps. life graphs. bare souls. the five of us, we didn’t know each other, we only read the names off of the name tags hanging around our necks. but we bared our souls truthfully and courageously and the truth set us free.
xi. we stayed up late that first night, talking about anything and everything. i felt like the luckiest girl to have such a sweet and wonderful roommate as you.
xii. personality type tests. quiet introvert moments. warm and fuzzy blankets in times of cold. you march to the beating of your drum (i should say cajon) and you are simply unapologetically yourself.
xiii. suddenly the lightning flashed, the thunder roared, and the rain came pouring down. stuck without shelter, frantic to set up the tent, worried about my mascara. i was soaked through and through, dripping as i walked, but that was a highlight of my week. there’s nobody i’d rather be drenched with than with all of you.
xiv. we glided over the ice together, i spun, you clung to the walls. and i dare to call you daddy, even though i’m grown up. and i will always call you daddy because you will always be my daddy, my father, my hero.
xv. i asked you to come, but you refused. days later, i asked again, but still you refused. but dude, i won’t give up asking, because i want to see you again. i want to see you at the other side. i want you to come to church because i care about you.
xvi. you suddenly disappeared. everybody had their lips sealed shut. and i almost went crazy with worry. please come back.
xvii. you must be crazy, she said. getting up early just hours before your flight. but let me tell you, it was worth it, feeling the ivory keys beneath my fingers, hearing the sound echo throughout the oaken room, and gazing at the familiar faces below me.
xviii. what’s wrong, woman? we haven’t been able to talk lately, or hang out, or have our heart-to-hearts, and i really miss you. i know i haven’t been the friend you needed or the guitar player you needed or the dog-caregiver you needed, and i’m sorry. i miss the rambling messages on the answering machines, the late afternoon music videos, and the bright lipstick escapades. come back soon, friend.
xix. i thought the corner would be lonely, but You came and sat with me. i thought the corner would be cold, but You came and wrapped Your arms around me. i thought the corner would be saddening, but You showed me that with You, all things are possible.
xx. some steps that we take leave an everlasting mark even death can’t take away. so, if you’re missing me, just look inside your heart. i’ll be sleeping in the stars, shining through the dark, watching, smiling, singing out into silence. everywhere you are, i’ll be sleeping in the stars.